at the healer

When the healer announced with his sleepy eyes and romantic voice at the end of the session that my neck was now less stiff, I was sad to know it had been diagnosed by a stranger.. I asked him what was wrong with it. He was surprised for he had assumed I was there because of stress and tension and all the running around.. isn’t it? I was not sure. I thought I was there because of my knee problem, a purely technical matter that the anti-inflammatory could only appease momentarily.. I realized that he figured “her” out before I did.. that he  could see through her better than me.. that it was beyond concealing with over-the-counter quick fixes… I had forgotten the passing of time and days and the putting off of unsolved issues.. He announced that I was ready to leave now if I wanted to… But I asked to stay longer.... As soon as he closed the door, my tears rolled.. I tried to deafen her sobbing, .. I felt so sorry for that woman or was it a little girl lying on that white narrow stretcher in a stranger’s clinic.. I did not recognize her.. But I brought her there, I guess I did.. She looked sad and helpless begging me for a hug.. How could I allow her to reach that stage? To stoop down to the level of seeking help from a stranger heeler in odd places.. The killer was that I felt helpless despite her crying for help.. Instead, I wept with her while she was putting on her shoes that I did not even recognize…  who chose them for her? He realized something was wrong, dimmed the light and she started to unwind that stiff neck of hers…