erratic awareness

If I were to find an explanation for this sudden puzzlement, I would either say that I am starting not to listen, or when reading, to look only for the meaning and overlook the structure, or that this confusion is due to mixing three languages, or that I am too tired and my brain cells are erratically fizzling out and I need a serious brain de-fragmentation; or that I lost touch with the sense of capturing the correct beat of what sounds right, or I have suddenly developed this urge to justify things and box things into rules; But most probably, since I recently started teaching “words” to my kids, I developed this new rapport with language: it is no more just a tool to be utilized for communication purposes; but also to be explained, and therefore consciously re-engineered for others to learn with a different clear awareness.