freezing happiness

Why can’t we be happy with a temporary thing? Why do we have this tendancy to want to generalize and make sure what makes us happy now should turn into a pattern, a trend, an accessible pill… and that I can dip my soul in that perpetual eternal lava of joy when lonely or empty? … maybe this is why I rarely  give money to a poor person… I believe I have to find a permanent solution to their state.. I hate Band-Aid solutions; they hurt. Am I doomed? I want for this painting to immediately give birth to the next project once it is done… and my mind to zoom in and analyze the joke totally and completely down to its minute constituents so that it is transferable into a new context in Mars… I am sick of this.. what happened to fun? Who messed up my brain and made fun so unattainable? Among animals, ants gather their winter food… not singing roaches..